Amanuensis (amanuensis1) wrote,

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Completely and utterly looking for help, here. Come to me in my hour of need, fandom. I'm begging.

Okay, apparently I was reading a completely different book from the rest of you.

In my book, Snape was going to either kill or be killed by Dumbledore, but it was so obvious that he was NOT working for Voldemort that that was clearly going to be revealed by the end of this book.

In my book, Dumbledore was acting in such an erratic manner that it was clear that something had a hold of him--half the time Voldemort was actually controlling him, was my bet. All that stuff about Harry being the only one who could get the memory from Slughorn? Bulls**t. Dumbledore coulda done it like that. That was Voldemort pushing Harry to do something Voldemort couldn't. This was why Dumbledore had vague excuses. This is why Dumbledore was all "I am very disappointed in you, Harry, there will be no more lessons until you get that memory from Slughorn." This was why Dumbledore couldn't give Harry any more reason than "I trust Professor Snape" to Harry's answers. This is why Dumbledore was screaming "Let me die" during the potion-drinking in the Cave--because that was the real Dumbledore trying to break free while poor made-fool-of-again-Harry is pouring the potion down his throat because of the promise he made to Voldemort, not Dumbledore.

In my book Slughorn gave Harry that Potions book deliberately. "Slughorn could've handed me that book, " says Ron, "but no, I get the one no one's ever written on." This is not a joke, this is a CLUE. Slughorn deliberately gave Harry that book of dark magic. Slughorn's an agent of Voldemort. How else do I know this? Because in my book, the Felix Felicis was a bloody curse potion, of course. Harry won it because Slughorn meant him to win it, with that book. Harry's meant to save it and use it before he confronts Voldemort, thinking, in a burst of inspiration, that it'll save him, but it'll actually be a potion that when taken under those circumstances will do something to leave him at Voldemort's mercy for whatever Voldemort's got planned. This was further reinforced by the time Harry appears to give it to Ron--but, look, it was a trick; Ron never consumed it. So Harry still didn't know its true effects. (And there would have been that moment, after he consumed it when Harry realized he almost poisoned Ron with it and how close he came.) Then, when Harry actually does take it and the potion "tells" him what to do--I realized, ha, no, see, that wasn't luck, that was some form of liquid Imperius, or some such, in my book. Leading him to get the information that Voldemort wanted from Slughorn. And Harry didn't even know.

In my book when Dumbledore begins to tell Harry about Horncruxes, I knew, oh, my god, I KNEW that Harry was the key Horncrux. And would have to be destroyed. And this was why Dumbledore was acting so strangely--when the Dumbledore side of him was still in control of his own self, he despaired at the thought of having to kill Harry, and when the Voldemort side of him was manifesting, he knew that he would be able to destroy the boy in such a way that he'd get his soul fragment back and could put it somewhere far safer than this boy who threatened his very self with his power. This is why, when Harry said, "And if you do, can I come with you and help get rid of it?", Dumbledore gave Harry that look--half heart-squeezing agony, half dark glee. When they went to the Cave, that was when BOTH dual sides of themselves prepared to do what they wanted to/had to--take Harry to that place of ritual and kill him. But why did Harry escape? Well, surely that would be revealed in the moment of "Snape tells all" at the end of my book.

The message in the locket--of course those initials don't belong to Regulus Black; that's far too obvious. The message had to have come from Dumbledore; surely those initials are some alter-pseudonym of his. "I have discovered the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can." Oh, Harry. He couldn't do it to you. He couldn't. He loved you too much and all he can do is hope that Snape will find some way to save you from this fate in the next book. And Snape'll do it, too. You're not fated to die, Harry--Rowling loves you too much.

That was the book I was reading.

And suddenly, in chapter 29, as I waited for all this to be revealed--that Snape had had to kill Dumbledore because Dumbledore wanted him to, because Voldemort was using Dumbledore and D. could not bear to be used like that any longer, and this was the only way, and as I waited with Harry for Harry to see that huge, horrible revelation... turned into some other book.

What happened to that book?

Am I really the only one who read that book?

I suspect this post makes no sense. I have been told by several others that I'm not making sense. I'm sorry. But I'm bewildered and lost.
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