This was one of those stories in which I saw the prompt and the whole story jumped into my head. (Not a very long story, granted, so, not that much of a feat.) But instantly I knew I had a problem--was this a story or was it smut?
Because from the very first line, I had killed my own sexy. James was dead--right there, the story's become horror for me. I don't enjoy non-con when there's death. The threat of death, certainly, can heighten the tension for me--I do get off (intensely) on "Submit to this or we'll kill your best friend/your sweetheart/this innocent person whose blood will be on your head." But when I do, it's because I'm writing the story and know that that line will not be crossed. The victim will submit, the threatened person will not die.
And the story leapt into my head and it was about Bella using Lily viciously on the night Voldemort came to kill them. It wasn't quite snuff, which--by my guidelines above--turns me off, but it still crossed the lines of Don't Go There, Not Sexy Anymore, La La La I Can't Hear You.
So did I write it as horror, then? I did not. I wrote it as non-con erotica. I told myself, you must glean the sexy where you can, find the button-pushing moments and get them in there, even though you know how the plot started and how it will finish.
I did this by being honest. I started with James was dead. Lily does not get turned on by what's happening. She doesn't use sexy words to describe her rapist's anatomy. If I'd given her even the scantest bit of oooh-maybe-I'm-starting-to-like-this in the wake of James's death, I'd have raspberried the screen until it shorted out. There is arousal in the story, though--Bella's. And even though we're not in Bella's head, I displayed her arousal wherever possible. Sneaking up on the reader. And I used one of my favorite intensifiers: the dirty talk that spins an even more over-the-top fantasy in the middle of the scene being played.
When Bella orders Narcissa to assist her, describes what she wants to do to Lily--that, see, that was the scene I really wanted to write. That moment caught me up, had me moaning, had me wanting Bellatrix and Narcissa to steal Lily away and do all those filthy things and more more more and to keep her for five years as their sexual pet, five years ten years more denied orgasm for every one of those years yes yes yesss.
'S not what happened in canon, dammit. And if I'd changed that--and, while I was at it, done away with the inconvenience of that dead husband in the foyer that was also killing my sexy--seriously AU, dude. And if it goes that seriously AU...that means I don't need it to be fanfiction anymore.
I don't need fanfiction to write "evil mistress steals pretty victim away and makes her her abused sexual pet"--I've written that. I've written that a LOT. Shoot, I wrote a novella of that some years back.
So. I apologize to zeltkaiserin, for sandwiching her tasty naughty request between unhappy plotty moments. Brain works that way sometimes. Darned brain.