Amanuensis (amanuensis1) wrote,

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Snow White and the Huntsman. Verdict: wait for the DVD.

Saw Snow White and the Huntsman yesterday. I wish it had been better. My disappointment had nothing to do with the performances; everyone's good! Everyone sustained their accents, and I thought Stewart and Hemsworth were particularly good as leads. (It's odd watching Hemsworth play a character who doesn't win every fistfight, isn't it.) The problem was the story (really was nothing we haven't seen before) and the tone, which couldn't decide when the camera framing needed to stay mythical and when to show views meant to frame a more colloquial moment. It was a jarring blend that at times worked against Charlize Theron in particular, and it...well, it was just boring. As in, "Are we staying for the rest of this?" I'll say that I'm glad I did; it did actually get better once the dwarves showed up (the effects for the dwarves were amazing; when I recognized half the actors playing the dwarves and realized they weren't dwarf actors, my jaw dropped) and the story had some nice elements from that point. I did like fairyland (it got the mythical thing right). By the end, though, I just wanted to pluck Stewart in her silver armor right out of that movie and stick her in a Joan of Arc biopic. I'd watch that.

The S.O. and I don't riff films in the theatre unless we have a completely empty theatre, but we have a rule that the previews are fair game and the occasional whispered riff is forgivable. Both of us Avengers-on-the-brain folk managed to make Arc Reactor jokes:

Duracell battery commercial just before the previews, recognizably voiced by Jeff Bridges: "...use the battery trusted by artists everywhere." Me: "And then say F**K BATTERIES and pluck your genius billionaire protégé's Arc Reactor out of his goddamn chest."

Kristen Stewart rides by in armor bearing standard. S.O.: "Put Tony Stark in that armor and he'll be Joan of Arc Reactor."

My favorite two minutes and thirty-nine seconds I saw on that screen yesterday came before the film started. Yeah, thass right, it's a lead-in to today's installment of Jeremy Ruiner Renner, Professional Life-Renner Ruiner:

Shoot, the day before my heart had been pounding just from reading the snippet in Esquire Magazine's Summer Preview for this film which read simply, "Completes Jeremy Renner's metamorphosis into an action star." Watching this I thought I was going to need freaking nitroglycerine pills. (S.O. just chuckled and patted me on the head.)
Tags: jeremy renner professional life ruiner, movies, snow white and the huntsman
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